you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
