So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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