toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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