Grow some girl-balls and come out already
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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