i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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