She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
