just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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