so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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