I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
