do herpes really smell.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
