Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Are my feet made of real feet?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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