wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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