farters have to be the big spoon...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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