quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
