How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
