hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
