thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
