pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
