You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
