Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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