She's JV to your varsity
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
