Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
