yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
