You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
