I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
