dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
