Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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