My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
