Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
