No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
