No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
