i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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