My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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