i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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