nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize