Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
