just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
