why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize