We're like a lot better than the average bears
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
