tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize