did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize