i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
