I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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