I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
