I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
