Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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