my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
