I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
