it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
