I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
