it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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