question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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