Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
