i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
