I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
