I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
