so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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