I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
