i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
