I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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