Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
