your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
