Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
